What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !
What's Christmas called in England ?
Yule Britannia !
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it !
Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?
Beacause a little water ends both of them !
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !
What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Platform shoes !
What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
I'm going out tonight !
Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy !
How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick !

Panda Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."